High School throw back

Dear you,
You don't know this, but you have taught me one of the hardest lessons in life: Don't hold grudges. In 8th grade during our crazy dramatic times, and one of are many catty fights that people loved to watch and encourage, you said you couldn't be friends with someone who held on so tightly to past grudges. I probably came back with some great witty jr. high response and acted like I didn't care at all about what you said, but well that was a show. I actually cared a lot.

Our years of being best friends for life only lasted until about sophomore year, and to tell you the truth I don't even know what really happened there, but I do know I have carried that lesson you taught me around in my pocket ever since and am still trying perfect it ( sometimes I do better with it than others lol but cut me a little slack at least I try right??). And this little basic story book lesson has come in handy. I probably wouldn't have a relationship with the mother at all if I hadn't learned the hard way to forgive and forget.

I've learned keeping built up resentment towards people causes more harm to myself than to anyone else, not to mention is a huge waste of time and energy. Practicing forgiveness is the only way to get better at it, and I feel like over the years I have had my fair share of practice. Sometimes I'll admit certain things still stick like a nasty nightmare caught in a dream catcher in my heart, but I am more willing now to wake up and move on with my day.

So I guess I want to say thanks, for teaching me how to forgive the hard way, and that I have wanted to tell you a long time about the lesson I learned.

playlist problems

You might never have expected this... but the Texan is a bit of an OCD perfectionist. Most of the time my perfectionist tendency doesn't get in the way of having a normal happy daily life, it actually enhances it. I try my hardest on all projects, rehearsals, and crafting activities until everything is just they way I like it.  I might have made my natural world's lab poster by myself to be sure it would look cute and be correct. My poster might have ended up being neon pink and black....Dear all boy lab group... sorry I'm not sorry about my color choices.  I can spend a good hour making sure my hair seems to be in the right place, and I have a hard time trying new things that I don't think I'll be good at. Sometimes though these tendencies can be a real pain in the butt, especially when i am trying to make a playlist.

Okay now your probably thinking " A music playlist, what in the heck could be so hard in making a playlist. Just put all of your favorite music in one place and BAM  there you go." IT IS NOT THAT SIMPLE.

I DREAD making playlists because they take me hours. Usually I end up with only 5 songs and give up on the whole thing. It puts me in a bad mood and then I am forced into a music depression for the rest of the day.  The thought crossed my mind to make a new road trip playlist for fall break.... I got about 6 songs in and gave up.

Picking songs out is so hard. You have to know what kind of song mood your in. Do you wanna rage, is it time to kick it country, what about some moody indy music? Sometimes I wanna just stick to those classic oldies but  goodies go to songs, and other times rock seems like it is the solution only cure to my music blues. When I started making the playlist I had no idea what style would suit my craving so I decided to go with a mix. you can't go wrong with a mix right?

WRONG you can sooooo go wrong with a mix!!! In order for a playlist to be successful it has to have the right balance and flow. A solid mashup of ups and downs and transitions is necessary, and I had none of that. Plus I wanted to find cool new music so I could pretend to be a hipster. Whats the point of putting songs on a cd or ipod that you could just as easily hear on the radio?  Finding music takes time. One song might have a good beat, but the lyrics suck. If the lyrics are subpar there is no reason to listen to the stupid song. I swear! music these days.

Now I am in Cincinnati. Did I get to jam to an awesome new cd on the way up here after spending 2 hours on it. No.
am I sad about it. yes.
am I going to try and finish the playlist.
no, I am still in my music depression.

I think the problem is I expect too much from these 20 song sets of music. I want a playlist that can transform me from the present into a different world. Music has the ability to carry your mind along with each note into a different time and dimension.  Lyrics allow us to forgive, forget, remember and cherish. Some melodies have the ability to widdle deep down into your heart and awaken moments or feelings that lay dormant like a volcano. Listening to a favorite song is like being wrapped up in your favorite blanket or dressed up in your favorite party outfit; for 4 minutes your transported into an untouchable world. I want my playlist to take me away, too bad it takes me forever to create the perfect one.